Monthly Archives: May 2011

Law #12

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In recent weeks insecurity has been rearing its ugly head throughout my days. Thoughts of not being good enough, not doing well enough or that I need to be, do, or have more in order to be respected were putting a real drag on my personal and professional life.  I couldn’t put a finger on where this was coming from.  Until Tuesday morning.

Tuesday morning my son woke up early and my husband got up with him.   I laid in bed for another half hour and when I came downstairs I saw our son sitting in his high chair, in front of the t.v, with a bowl of soupy oatmeal!   This situation was the straw that broke the mastodon’s back! I hurriedly moved the high chair into the dining room, made a new bowl of oatmeal (my son isn’t highly adept with a spoon just yet.  His oatmeal needs to be thick), and let my husband know how disappointed I was.  We didn’t speak to each other the rest of the morning.

After my husband went to work, guilt set in. I was so over-reactive. I said mean things. What if something happened to him on the way to work.  Was this really the memory of our morning I wanted to create???

Then, I began to reflect.   It wasn’t just the TV and oatmeal that made me upset, it was the insecurity I had been dealing with. And as I wrote my husband an apologetic email (lame, I know) I realized that he and I hadn’t connected in months. Sure, we’d chat about each other’s day or special events we were involved in, but we hadn’t had a heart to heart, soul to soul conversation in months. I wanted to know that we were still moving in the same direction as partners, parents and friends.  Not simply roommates who worked hard to pay the bills and feed the kiddo.

As I hit send it hit me.  This is why I had been feeling so insecure lately!  It was clear as day, in black and white, posted on my refrigerator: Baron’s Laws of Transformation. Law#12 -Understand that the whole is the goal.You cannot do wrong in one part of your life and expect to do right in all others.  I had been doing wrong in my partnership, in my marriage.  I was so disconnected from my husband- my soul partner -that it began to trickle into other areas of my life. Teaching, mothering, friendships, you name it!

Our lives are not solitary.  We are a complete package of  relationships, habits and beliefs.  Are there essential relationships in your life that could be strengthened?  Is there an area of your life that could be refined to help complete your ‘wholeness’?  When you understand that the Whole is the Goal you can begin to reflect upon areas that need more attention to help send you to new heights!

That evening, I came home to a homemade dinner for two.  Set up on our front porch with a bouquet of flowers.  My husband and I shared.  Heart to heart. Wine glass to wine glass 😉

Take time for unity

The Gravity In Parenting

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This past year I have started writing letters to my son.  My son is only 19mo old so It may be 10, 15, or even 20 years before he reads these letters.  I just wanted to create a way for him to be able to have a deeper connection to this time in his life.  A time that he likely will not remember, but a time that is undoubtedly shaping him for the rest of his life. I keep these letters private. Tucked away in a box in our china cabinet.  But the letter I wrote him on mother’s day this year I’ve decided to share.

May 8th 2011

Dearest son,

It’s Mother’s Day.  A day when I should be riding high.  Instead, I’m feeling very  guilty.  I dropped you this morning. You landed flat on your face.  Luckily, the distance wasn’t far enough for serious damage to be done, but your fat lip and bruised cheek are enough to bring tears to my eyes.  I’m so sorry to have dropped you, honey.  Please know that it was not intentional.  You slipped out of my arms as we were playing.  We had been having so much fun!  I hope the fun we were having is your memory of that moment -not the fall.

As I write, I realize it is highly likely I will drop you again someday.  Hopefully not literally, but chances are good I will let you down in some way.  I will never let you down on purpose.  My work is always, always to enhance your life. I accept that there will be situations in my lifetime when you and I will not see eye-to-eye.  This will not be due to my lack of love, respect or faith in you. It will simply be a step in our mother and son process.  You and I coming together to share a lesson.  These lessons will never, ever be about bringing you down.  Rather, they will always be about building you up.  So, whether it’s dropping you on your face as a toddler or any other myriad of situations to come, the only way I could ever fail you is if I don’t offer you a safe place to heal.  I will always offer that to you, sweet boy.  I will always be here for you.

Love,
Mama

 

Fright or Flight

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I bought a book for my son this weekend titled Buzzy the Bumblebee. My son likes bees and he likes to make buzzing sounds. No brainer on this purchase. 🙂

Buzzy is a happy-go-lucky little bumblebee who is curious about the world. He likes to read, learn and explore. One day, he’s reading a new book and he reads, “Bumblebees weren’t made to fly.” According to studies and research, their wingspan is wrong and their bodies are too big. Of course, Buzzy has been flying all his life. Upon reading this he is saddened, defeated and begins to question what he should be able to do. The seed of doubt had been planted and each time he tries to fly – he can’t.

The book goes on to detail Buzzy’s adventures and encounters as he walks home. All the while, he is very frustrated that he can no longer fly. When he finally reaches his home he asks his parents why they never told him he wasn’t made to fly. Their response goes like this, “Why Buzzy, you certainly can fly! Until now, that is, and do you know why? You’re doubting yourself, fear is blocking your way. Listen to your heart Buzzy, not to what others say.”

That last line pretty well sums it up. Fear is a sure blockage for our growth, our abilities and our way. Are there areas in your life where fear and doubt are keeping you from doing what you know to be your truth? Can you ignore labels and limits and instead trust your intuition? Simply believing that you can gets you one step closer to flight.

Courtesy of Getty Images