Yesterday, my dog was hit by a car as he ran across the street after a furry friend. He survived the incident and learned a valuable lesson (i hope).
Today, the woman who hit Mikey stopped by my house and asked if I would cover the deductible for the damage to her car.
I was surprised by this. Yesterday, we were crying together. I could see, without a doubt, her concern for me and my dog. When I asked her if her car was ok she said, “I don’t care.” Today, when she took me over to her car to show me the dent and I noticed my dog’s feces and blood were still smeared on the bumper, I knew what was up (feces and blood are good evidence for the insurance company). I immediately got tense. When she asked, “do you have insurance?”, I caught the naughty word before it escaped my mouth. When she said, “let me give you my number” I did my very best to keep from saying, “can we go halvsies on the vet bill too?”
She left. I went back inside. My house and my head.
I get it. She has a nice car. It now has a dent. Technically, (as the world of facebook is telling me) I should pay up. And I will. But not without rattling tons of questions through my head first.
Why do concepts like ‘technically’ supersede compassion?
Would she have asked me for the deductible if Mikey had died?
Is she blaming me for this accident by asking me for the deductible?
Is my resistance a way of blaming her?
What is it about placing blame that makes us feel better about our situation?
I suppose a bottom line worth considering is that we are all living out our choices. Some choices show their result/consequence immediately. Other choices play out when a disobedient dog runs in front of a suburbanite on her way to work. I have to claim this event as the result of choices I made well before the accident itself. I also have to claim my resistance, my anger, and my inability to fully understand her perspective.
Whoa. Typing that last sentence literally brought a soft feeling to my heart. Yowza, that’s it!!! Because I am willing to claim my actions, my reactions, my resistance, and my part in this accident I am mine again. I don’t need to prove, blame, or separate any longer. Resistance and blame were depleting my heart. Now, it feels whole again.
Now, if only ‘lady driver’ is going through the same thought process tonight. I might be able to save some cash ;)